I woke up this morning and I almost forgot where I was.
I almost thought I was in our bed, in the home that we once shared.
I almost thought I felt your arms around me.
I almost thought I felt your breath breathing down my neck.
Then I realized it was just a dream.
Because the reality is that there is no more bed that we share.
The home that we built is no more.
The Love that we shared for so long is now gone.
And it hurts but I just cant keep holding on.
I was holding onto the dream that you and me would be forever.
That you would finally see yourself in a better light and finally let go of the hurt of the past.
That you could come to love me more than anything else and sacrifice for me the one thing that was holding us back from greatness.
But in the process of waiting for a dream. I was hit with reality.
The reality that the trust was gone.
The reality that the love was broken.
The realty that no matter how hard you tried or how much I wanted you to, you weren’t going to change.
Now all the love that I gave, the love that we made. Has all gone down the drain.
And im left to deal with the pain.
And no I don’t want it back.
It was toxic, that’s why we are at where we’re at.
But still the memories constantly replay in my head.
And I try not to think about all that you put me through.
All the times I forgave for things that you did.
All the lies that you told me that I chose to believe.
Thinking to myself how can the this be?
How could the one I love hurt me so deep?
Did I really deserve all that you’ve done to me?
Was I that bad of a lover, a wife, a friend, for you to show me such injustice?
It’s to late to apologize and much too late to show remorse for your actions.
I’m hurting right now but I will be ok.
I know I’m not perfect but I gave you real love.
All along I was casting my pearls upon dirt.
Giving good love to a man that could not and would not be able to love me the same.
Never the less, I’m still left with the scars.
Im still left with the tears.
I’m still left to deal with all the mess that you left.
But I’m healing everyday and I know I’ll be ok.
These are just the Side Effects of A Breakup!
-As Told By Val